Hello Everyone, This week we finished Step Six, so we will start Step Seven on pg 149 next week. We talked about language like "defects of character" and how the Buddhist language compares to the 12-step language. We also spoke about how what we believe about ourselves becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This week the discussion question is from the Exercise odn p148. How have your "negative qualities" or "character defects" changed over time? Since you've entered recovery. Do you now see them as human qualities, rather than personal to you?
For me, I see that some of my behaviors are still the same "unskillful behaviors" of old, but now they are just applied in different directions or areas of my life. My letting go of responsibility as "that's just how I am" like I did when I was "just an addict" still crops up when I overeat or overwork out or over do anything. I still do that! But at least now I'm aware that this isn't the truth and that I can choose to behave in differently in any moment and none of it is written in stones, or unchangeable or "just how I am". But this is definitely a continuing practice for me and I am still surprised by how often I fall back into it.
What about you?
Each day, I see how my survival / coping skills served me for a time, and now no longer do (for the most part). I am not sure whether my behaviors are softening or if perhaps the way I see them is beginning to be more allowing.
I liked especially being reminded that my flaws are not all of me, and that WHEN they crop up, it confirms that I am simply human, and not broken or wrong for being.
I am open to changing, even when it is challenging. And when I am not open to it, I have learned that that is when it is painful.
I am learning to let go of perfectionism, as it not "mine" any longer. I can try new things and feel a sense of belonging that I never have felt before now.
I appreciate this group and our discussions, and of course, our skillful leaders, as we all are all becoming,