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One Breath at a Time

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Lori C

Hello everyone,


This week we started Step Eleven and read up to page 214 How Does Meditation Work. We talked about The Flaw of Memory and what exactly is the point of meditation.

This week's discussion question is about the point of meditation. What did meditation mean to you when you began and how has that changed in your practice now? What do you think might help you develop in your practice? Perhaps sitting more regularly, or doing more group sits, or studying more, or going on retreat? And then consider, what are you trying to develop anyway?


I know that for me, I started meditation hoping that it would get me high - or as close to it as i could get sober. I discovered that what I used to consider "high" is now more of a sense of calm and equanimity and I'm grateful when I can achiev…


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Shannin Clarkson
Jun 05

When I first started meditation, I didn't know why I was doing it. It took practice to understand my why and how I liked to do it. Today, I am in meditation practice often. I feel connected to my higher power and it allows me to be present with myself. I bring myself to just be and allow life to happen around me. I enjoy silence or calm music in the background when I am at home. I love to hear the sounds of the beach when I am doing my walking meditations. I try not to have ear buds in my ears - just let life happen around me. Sometimes, i will stop and sit on the beach/rock and just stare out to the ocean. Let the thoughts come and go noticing they are there. I enjoy meditation today knowing why I am doing it.

Lori C

Hello everyone,


This week we read up to page 207 The FLaw of Memory. We spoke about cognitive inventory, and seeing that we are not our thoughts.

We spoke about the all-or-nothing thinking that so many of us suffer from.

In the reading, Kevin says "Living with imperfection is what life is about...our spiritual life isn't about achieving some perfect state, but about living with things as they are."


What does this mean to you? Can you relate?

I know that for me, I used to think that being spiritual meant that I was above the trials and circumstances of everyday life, that I could sort of float above them without distress. I have since come to realize that, as much as it is a daily practice and an ongoing process, being spiritual means responding and not reacting to how things are from a place of calm acceptance and equanimity…


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Shannin Clarkson
May 29

Hi Lori and thank you for your service. I can relate to the all or nothing; black or white thinking. Sometimes in life, we are put to the challenge of finding the gray area. I have a hard time accepting what is at times. I am very independent and strong willed. I am working towards softening my edges with acceptance, grace and gratitude. This is difficult for me. People, places and things as they are work well when they aren't in my space; I am asking my higher power for help with this. Thank you for the suggestions.

Lori C

Hello everyone, this week we started Step Ten and read to pg 203 Cognitive Inventory. We talked about the different ways we practice Step 10 after discussing making amends to ourselves at the end of Step Nine.

So here's the discussion question for you to consider: In what ways does practicing step ten, in whatever way you do that, either formally or informally, add to the process of making amends to yourself. Think about it.


For me, I know that I am being kinder to myself by not letting harms pile up so that I have to do a 4th step. By promptly dealing with unskillful behaviors I allow myself some grace and peace of mind, and that is making an amends to myself because I'm changing the way I live for the better of all beings, myself included. THis is the bliss of blamelessness that the Buddha refers t…


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DEBORAH SEAMAN
DEBORAH SEAMAN
May 20

Wow! The bliss of blamelessness carries a lot of meaning for me right now in my journey. In my 12th step service work, I have the opportunity to serve a couple of districts by attending their district meetings and help if I am asked for guidance. I also give a very short report of section happenings. The hardest part of this new position is that I need to refrain from adding unsolicited advice. It is very hard. I want to interject many times during the meetings because I “think” I know a better way. In essence I am stepping on the toes of others and they are retaliating. I also have a tendency to want to get my hands into areas that are of no concern to me. Like if I see what I think is a traditions violation I need to address it right away. No matter where I spot it. It became obvious to me that my ego is off balance.


In an effort to gain insight and get help with being the “AA” police I spoke with a service sponsor and the best advice was to truly understand that everyone has a right to be wrong. Moreover I don’t have the right to interfere with the learning of a new trusted servant in the fellowship. The advice helped me to see where I was taking something away from someone else.


Most of all I learned a new way my ego and defects manifest themselves to harm others. To be blamelessly blissful is the best concept for me focus on right now. There is always something for me to seek higher guidance for.

Edited
Lori C

Hello Everyone,


This week we read up to page 197 Exercise: Living Amends. We discussed the importance of sponsorship in the amends process and about your intention/motivation for making the amends and being aware of causing no harm, as well as the timeliness of the amends not always being clear.


Today's discussion question is to consider the way that living amends have affected your recovery journey.


I know that for me, living amends is the most important part of the amends process because it is an ongoing thing.

One of my small ways to make living amends is to always clean up garbage left on trains by previous passengers. That's because in my addiction, I so often was f'd up on trains, smoking crack in the bathroom, and sniffing inhalants right in my seat, and just generally not caring who saw me or how I impacted the others on th…


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DEBORAH SEAMAN
DEBORAH SEAMAN
May 16

The question of considering the way living amends affect my recovery seemed hard to figure out. I thought about it for a while and was reminded that one thing I do is live in a way that doesn’t require me to have to make future amends. It means ego deflation and listening and accepting hard truths about when and where my ego and my acting on that ego leads me to step on the toes of my fellows causing retaliation. Maybe living amends requires continuous inventory for me.

Edited

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