Hi everyone. This week we started Step Four and read up to pg 94 "when I met..."
We talked about looking how our behavior affected others by doing inventory and the discussion question for this week is what do you think is the greatest awareness you've gained by doing an inventory? where/how have you been more compassionate to yourself and/or others thanks to your inventory?
For me, the awareness that my behavior really affected others, and that I could change my choices to be more compassionate to myself as well as to others was the greatest continuing gift/practice that doing a 4th step revealed to me.. I find that mindfulness/ meditation is a way for me to do a living inventory by being more fully present and aware of the now and my behavior in the now, so that I won't have to do more 4th steps. LOL hopefully
Step 4 was incredibly empowering. I had gone through my life thinking people were just acting out and that I didn't really have any control over what was happening. While I couldn't control what other people did, I learned I could control my own behavior. I learned the that "responsibility" was the "ability to respond." I could take responsibility for my behavior and stop the damaging cycle of reacting. I could create boundaries and enforce them. I could choose who I allowed in my life and who I didn't.
Step 4 also gave me the ability to see that often, other people's hurtful actions weren't personal. They were suffering themselves. As a result, rather than getting angry, many of my resentments were replaced with compassion. It truly is a different way to live.